Sunday Morning Laundromat
Posted on May 15, 2011
While folding my clothes in the Laundromat, a man (he appears to be some kind of athletic coach) is speaking authoritatively (and intrusively for those who would prefer to be left alone with their own thoughts) about his parenting skills to the woman whose job is to keep the place tidy and report any malfunctioning equipment to the owner.
In passing, I learn that the Laundromat Lady is sixty years of age, but she appears to be well-kept: slim, her hair still bleached the color she probably bleached it back in 1970. She is even wearing bell-bottom jeans. I also learn that she reports for work at 5:30 AM, or is supposed to, at least. She was late this morning, and for this, her adult daughter is to be blamed.
She doesn’t understand that I need to be at work at 5:30. She thinks I’m supposed to be there to help her get ready with breakfast and clothes.
The Lecturing Coach mentions that he considered visiting the laundromat earlier this morning, dropping the hint that he enjoys conversing with the woman and has considered going out of his way to see more of her. Did she catch the hint?
I (and everyone else in the laundromat with no choice but to listen to this conversation) learn that the Lecturing Coach has two children at home in their late-teens. Good kids. Obedient kids. But that girl has a mouth on her.
Where did the girl learn to speak in such offensive and demeaning terms?
From her mother.
And where is the mother? (I imagine him saying, “And where is the bitch?”)
She left him.
We learn that the wife had sworn off her use of weed and cocaine soon after hooking up with the Lecturing Coach. He wouldn’t stand for it. He saved her from a wasted life, literally and figuratively, but she never fully abandoned her fondness for these diversions.
When she inevitably returned to their pleasures, she left him for another, less judgmental man. Of course, the man beat and abused her. She appears to have aged twenty years in the period of five, but that’s what coke and weed do to you.
Laundromat Lady nods knowingly.
But the kids got to see for themselves. They saw firsthand the truth about what weed and coke can do to an otherwise good and loving mother. That’s where the girl got her mouth, though. The little monkey does what the big monkey does. What did she think the little monkey would do when she heard her mother acting badly and using bad language?
Laundromat Lady observes that both kids are probably so exceptionally straight and upright because they saw their mother’s failings and took the natural swing in the other direction. Herself a child of the revolution, Laundromat Lady proposes that kids are naturally rebellious. It’s a good thing they had a bad example to rebel against.
Neither the Lecturing Coach nor Laundromat Lady seem to notice that she has just cut the man’s premise about good parenting.
At this moment, all he really wants is the attention of Laundromat Lady. He may be old, but he’s still got it. But he’s without a woman. And he wants a woman. And she’s made no mention of a man at home. And she’s approximately his age. She’s attractive.
I’ve got needs, and you’ve got needs. I’m fit, and you’re fit. And we enjoy conversing, don’t we? What else might we enjoy? A cup of coffee together. Dinner. Maybe some miniature golf.
At what point will he abandon his mating-ritual preening and posturing and confess his attraction? But what if she isn’t she really interested in him? What if she is just being polite?
I’m not going to hang out at this Laundromat long enough to find out. As I haul my basket through the exit, I can still hear them talking.
In passing, I learn that the Laundromat Lady is sixty years of age, but she appears to be well-kept: slim, her hair still bleached the color she probably bleached it back in 1970. She is even wearing bell-bottom jeans. I also learn that she reports for work at 5:30 AM, or is supposed to, at least. She was late this morning, and for this, her adult daughter is to be blamed.
She doesn’t understand that I need to be at work at 5:30. She thinks I’m supposed to be there to help her get ready with breakfast and clothes.
The Lecturing Coach mentions that he considered visiting the laundromat earlier this morning, dropping the hint that he enjoys conversing with the woman and has considered going out of his way to see more of her. Did she catch the hint?
I (and everyone else in the laundromat with no choice but to listen to this conversation) learn that the Lecturing Coach has two children at home in their late-teens. Good kids. Obedient kids. But that girl has a mouth on her.
Where did the girl learn to speak in such offensive and demeaning terms?
From her mother.
And where is the mother? (I imagine him saying, “And where is the bitch?”)
She left him.
We learn that the wife had sworn off her use of weed and cocaine soon after hooking up with the Lecturing Coach. He wouldn’t stand for it. He saved her from a wasted life, literally and figuratively, but she never fully abandoned her fondness for these diversions.
When she inevitably returned to their pleasures, she left him for another, less judgmental man. Of course, the man beat and abused her. She appears to have aged twenty years in the period of five, but that’s what coke and weed do to you.
Laundromat Lady nods knowingly.
But the kids got to see for themselves. They saw firsthand the truth about what weed and coke can do to an otherwise good and loving mother. That’s where the girl got her mouth, though. The little monkey does what the big monkey does. What did she think the little monkey would do when she heard her mother acting badly and using bad language?
Laundromat Lady observes that both kids are probably so exceptionally straight and upright because they saw their mother’s failings and took the natural swing in the other direction. Herself a child of the revolution, Laundromat Lady proposes that kids are naturally rebellious. It’s a good thing they had a bad example to rebel against.
Neither the Lecturing Coach nor Laundromat Lady seem to notice that she has just cut the man’s premise about good parenting.
At this moment, all he really wants is the attention of Laundromat Lady. He may be old, but he’s still got it. But he’s without a woman. And he wants a woman. And she’s made no mention of a man at home. And she’s approximately his age. She’s attractive.
I’ve got needs, and you’ve got needs. I’m fit, and you’re fit. And we enjoy conversing, don’t we? What else might we enjoy? A cup of coffee together. Dinner. Maybe some miniature golf.
At what point will he abandon his mating-ritual preening and posturing and confess his attraction? But what if she isn’t she really interested in him? What if she is just being polite?
I’m not going to hang out at this Laundromat long enough to find out. As I haul my basket through the exit, I can still hear them talking.